I'm a double cancer survivor, cyclist and walker who does various challenges for different charities, mainly cancer-related.

My latest trip was a three-week tour of Tasmania in February 2015; amongst other things, I've cycled from Land's End to John o'Groats (2003), Rotterdam to Lemvig (Denmark) (2005), walked the Pennine Way (2008) completed the ascent of all 214 'Wainwrights' in the Lake District in only 55 days (2009), cycled 4,500 miles around the coast of Great Britain (2011), cycled all 42 of the accessible Western Isles of Scotland in under a month (2012), twice abseiled 230 ft from the top of The Big One in Blackpool, cycled the WWI Western Front from London to Compiegne via Ypres and Arras (2014) and cycled 750 miles in the Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton (2014).

Altogether I've raised over £70,000 for my charities including The Christie, Cancer Research UK, the Rosemere Cancer Foundation, and ABF (The Soldiers' Charity) and I was mightily chuffed to receive the British Empire Medal in the 2014 New Year's Honours List.

I'm a Rotarian and give illustrated talks about my adventures in exchange for a donation to charity, so if you're looking for a speaker leave me a message. I am also Event Organiser for the Ribble Valley Ride Cycle Sportive, to be held this year on Sunday 14 June 2015 - more details at www.ribblevalleyride.org

You can also follow me on Twitter - @CancerBikeMan and on Facebook - just search for Bill Honeywell

Cancer Research UK is the world's leading charity dedicated to beating cancer through research, whilst The Rosemere does fantastic work for patients in Lancashire and South Cumbria.

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Signs


Now, indulge me, please – you may not have realised, as you read this blog, but I am a lover of brevity and conciseness in language – at least where business is concerned. So a sign in Fraserburgh today reminded me of an old joke which is right on my wavelength.

A man started a new business as a fishmonger and put up a beautifully painted sign which read “FRESH FISH SOLD HERE TODAY”

His first customer arrived on Monday morning and bought a pound of cod, then said “What a ridiculous sign you have!”

“Why?” asked the fishmonger.

“Because, what is the point of saying ‘TODAY?’ – it doesn’t make sense – you can’t sell it yesterday and tomorrow never comes.”

“I see your point,” replied the fishmonger, and later that day he painted over the word ‘TODAY’ so that the sign now read “FRESH FISH SOLD HERE”

The following day the same customer returned, asked for two smoked mackerel and said “Your sign is still hopeless.”

“Why so?” asked the fishmonger.

“Because it says ‘FRESH FISH SOLD HERE’ – well, you’re not going to be selling it anywhere else, are you?”

The fishmonger saw the logic and later that day he painted over the word ‘HERE’ so that the sign now read “FRESH FISH SOLD”.

Next day the customer returned, to buy a pound of smoked haddock.

“I hope you like the sign now,” said the fishmonger.

“Indeed not,” replied the customer – “It says ‘FRESH FISH SOLD’ – as if you’re going to give it away!”

Point taken, the fishmonger painted over the word ‘SOLD’ and the following day the customer came back for half a pound of monkfish.  “Happy with the sign now?” asked the fishmonger.

“It’s hopeless,” replied the customer – “FRESH FISH?” – would you ever consider selling fish that isn’t fresh?”

Of course not, thought the poor fishmonger, and later painted over the word ‘FRESH’.  Now the sign read simply ‘FISH’.

When, next day, the customer returned for three-quarters of a pound of coalie, the exasperated fishmonger asked if the sign was finally acceptable.

“Complete waste of time,” said the customer.  “You can smell this place a mile away!!”

And finally, let me know what you think of this sign encountered near Fraserburgh today:-


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